Rejection 27: Getting Donation For Charity on The Street
I drive by at least a few panhandlers per day. I have never imagined to be one myself. However, Karen from North Carolina wrote me an email describing how tough it is for her to ask for money, even for someone else or for charity. To experience this myself, for hopefully the only time in my life, I took a sign to the street and asked for money for Austin Food Bank. The entrepreneur in me prompted me to test out different signs to gauge their effects.
When you don't normally ask for money, doing so in a public setting can be excruciatingly difficult, as I found out. Among all the panhandlers, those who are honest and are in real need of money for their families, my heart goes out to them. It hurts pride to do this.
Learning: 1. Messaging matters a ton in any requests, whether it's asking customers to buy your product, or asking strangers to give you money for charity. Make sure your message is specific enough that people know where their money is going. 2. Be very careful in using humor. If the humor is not well-designed (like in my case) or in the wrong environment (charity), it could backfire big time.
Tragedy, Rejection and Hope
On 12/14/2012, the unthinkable happened. a gunman went into Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, and killed 20 students and six adults. Just like everyone, I was shocked initially, and went into mourning and reflection. At night, I made this vlog to share my thoughts on what happened.
Rejection 26: Give a Lecture to College Students
I have always wanted to give a lecture to students. After receiving a variety of rejections/acceptances in the past month, I am becoming an expert on rejection. I believe using rejection to propel yourself in life would be a very useful topic for students. On Day 26 of my rejection therapy, I visited University of Texas and pitched my talk to business school and communication school.
Just like in business, market timing and sales channel are everything. It really doesn't matter what my talk was, because I went in cold without an introduction, I couldn't get anywhere in the business school. I got really lucky with a professor in the communication school, who valued what I offered.
Learning: 1. Product, sales pitch and brave spirit mean very little without the right access and distribution channel. Sometimes it's not about what you say, or how you say it, it's about whom you talk to. 2. If you have a dream or something to offer, DON'T EVER be afraid to offer it. Someone might need it, and someone might be waiting for it for a long time.
Rejection 25: Dance With a Dancing Santa
Very similar to Rejection 16: Ring a Bell For The Salvation Army, today's episode was about me spotting a person on the street whom I usually don't give a second thought to. That person was a dancing sign holder. I wanted to hold the sign for him and learn some dance moves from him.
Learning: 1. Someone finally taught me how to dougie 2. Life is so much more fun and colorful if we simply slow down and don't walk by everything.
Rejection 24: Exchange Training With a Personal Trainer
A personal trainer's job is give me physical training for my money. However, I believe an hour of my time could also be valuable, if used correctly. Especially in the area of technology, entrepreneurship and blogging, I feel I have a lot expertise to offer. On day 24 of my rejection therapy, I ventured into 24 Hour Fitness to exchange 1 hour training session with a fitness trainer.
Instead of getting physical training, I receive a rejection training. Jordan is the type of person who really knows how to say 'no' to people. These are the types of things you don't realize when it happens, but only catch them during post analysis.
Learning: A good 'no' should include 1: a reason/consequence 2. a path/alternative to a 'yes' 3. patience and respect. In the case of rejection, it's really not what you say, but how you say it.
Day 23: Be a Greeter at Starbucks
Assuming salary doesn't matter, do you think being a greeter at a store like Walmart is an easy job? All you do is to say hi to people, smile and get paid, right? Well, I'm trying to find out myself. To not competing with Walmart employees, I decided to do it at Starbucks.
Being a greeter is not easy, especially if you count the boredom and weird looks this job receives.
Learning: 1. When people have no intention in carrying a conversation with you, they usually won't. Don't take it personally when they walk by. 2. Job satisfaction has a lot less to do with physical effort and ease, but more to do with human interaction and fulfillment. Even for a job like greeter, who has to communicate constantly, the quality of the communication is what matters, not quantity.
Day 22: Getting "Thai Torture" at Amy's Ice Creams
When you were little, have you ever thought about funny things such as digging a hole through earth or inventing your own ice creams flavor? I tried the former at age 11, and the latter today. While the hole went two feet deep before my neighbor called my mom, I wanted to carry through the ice cream invention. On day 22 of my rejection therapy, I went into Austin's favorite Amy's Ice Creams asking for "Thai Torture", a flavor I made up and might patent someday.
Learning: I have learned by now that the first 'no' should almost never be the end negotiation/discussion. Many times, the other party need your help to collaborate on an alternative solution. Always keep your head cool, always keep your options open, always probe for more. You never know what you might discover in the end.
10 Audacious Rejections
It’s been 24 days since my start of the Rejection Therapy. I feel I haven’t grown this much as a person in this short amount of time since my first month after losing my umbilical cord. It is both surreal and amazing. Many of you have asked me: 1. Are you going to finish all 100? 2. What’s next? #1 is easy – absolutely. #2 took some thoughts. While it will be fun and character-building to get rejected by strangers 75 more times, which I will still do, I want to use the confidence and skills I learned for 10 audacious requests, the things I want to achieve during the rest of my life here on Earth. I will prepare my heart and soul for these requests, and when I get rejected, it will hurt. I want to remember these rejections, desensitize myself from the pain, and work for the rest of my life to achieve these goals.
To start, I want to give a lecture to students. Coming from a family of teachers (my grandparents, father and uncle were all professors/teachers), I have always wanted to be a teacher someday. Now, I will use my experience both as an entrepreneur and a rejection therapy blogger to prepare as hard as I can for a 30-to-45-minutes talk to students. The title will be “Hope From Nope”, and the topic will be how to handle rejections to propel yourself forward in life.
This Wednesday, I will visit a local college here in Austin, and make the request to give a lecture. I will more than likely to be rejected, but this is the type of rejections that are painful and worth experiencing, just like having my sales pitch rejected by customers and investors. And I am inviting you to follow my journey.
Day 21: Ask Strangers for Compliments
Dan Ariely, the bestselling author of Predictably Irrational and The Upside of Irrationality, and my professor at graduate school, proposed an interesting experiment for my day 14 Rejection Therapy: give $5 to five random people Now his crazy mind is back at it again. On Day 21, he proposed that I ask for compliments from strangers and see if I get rejected. The theory is that people are reluctant to ask/give compliments to others. However, when it happens, everyone is happy afterward. Is he correct on both of those two hypotheses?
The first one was one of the hardest rejection attempts I have ever done. It was more awkward than asking my homecoming date 12 years ago. However, as I kept at it, I started enjoying it much more, and in the end, I loved it. The compliments to me, though solicited, were from strangers. They indeed made me feel very happy and confident.
Learning: 1. People are more than willing to say nice things about others when given the opportunity. As my rejection therapy suggests, it could be harder to reject giving compliments than to agree to it. 2. Compliments, in a way, is like sex for married couples. In Paula Szuchman's book It's Not You, It's the Dishes, everyone thinks that the more sex the merrier for married couples, and they are completely free to do it. However they somehow set up emotional barriers so they don't get to enjoy it as much as we want. I feel the same way about compliments. We should all try this - asking/giving compliments to strangers or loved ones. I promise you will feel happier afterward.
Day 20: Jeff Probst Show
Jackie Braun (Krispy Kreme magician who wowed the world), Jason Comely (the inventor of the Rejection Therapy Game) and I appeared on the Jeff Probst show (Jeff is the host of the Survivor). I made my crazy request to Jeff during the show, which will air in Mid-December.
Day 19: Make Announcement on a Southwest Flight
Rejection therapy is on the go. Flying out of Austin this morning, I asked Southwest employee Jeff if I could make the safety announcement before the flight takes off. When I tried similar things at Costco, I got a free meal. Now I'm trying this on a flight, the results floored me.
I hadn't been this nervous for years. Not only I was making a public speech that probably very few other customers have ever attempted before, I did it on a plane where things could be perceived in a very wrong way. Listening to myself, I felt I spoke way too fast. It was a classic sign of nervousness and insecurity, as pointed out by Olivia Cabane's fabulous book The Charisma Myth.
Learning: 1. Again, you just never know what might happen if you don't ask. 2. When nervous, take a deep breath and slow down. You can gain so much confidence when you just slow down and pronounce every word clearly.
Day 18: Give Weather Forecast on Live TV
I was in Austin's Fox News studio doing an interview about my 100 rejections journey this morning. Before I came on, I saw the weather forecast and thought I could do a good job. So I asked to do it at the end of my interview.
With lights and camera in my face, the pressure was on. It would be tough to pursue my request after the first no, like I did in other situations. However, this was two days in a row when I didn't ask 'why' after the initial rejection, which I'm not proud of. Also, I should have offered alternatives, such as asking her to talk to the producer, and maybe invite me back after my 100 days for the weather forecast.
Learning: same as yesterday, if the person say 'no', kindly ask why, and then offer a lesser alternative if the initial request isn't granted. This is Robert Cialdini's theory of concession in his book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion.
By the way, I want to thank Fox for the story. Other than getting my name wrong (I'm Jia Jiang, not Jia Jang), it was a story very well put together.
Day 17: Borrow a Dog From the Humane Society
As a dog lover who isn't in a position to adopt a second dog, I ventured into the Austin Humane Society to borrow one for a day.
This was one that I felt got away from me. Just like the car salesman, the lady kept saying 'no' without giving me a reason other than "we don't do it here". I should have asked why and hear her side of the story. If there was a reason, maybe I could have worked on the reason instead of the issue itself.
Learning: remember to ask 'why' after a 'no'. Even if the rejection is for sure, it's good to learn the reason behind the rejection.
My Interview With Larry Olson's Working Radio
Interview with Larry Olson's Working Radio Show I had fun talking with Larry about why I did my rejection therapy, the Jackie story and my future plans.
Day 16: Ring a Bell for the Salvation Army
As I carry out my rejection therapy, I found that I am observing the world in a very different way. I walked by Salvation Army bell-ringers all the time but never bothered to stop or think about it. This time, right after finishing the mannequin attempt, I ran into this bell-ringer outside of the mall and decided to help him out.
Learning: There are amazing experiences everywhere when you simply pay attention and not to be in so much hurry. I can't believe how happy Denny was when we had the conversation.
Day 15: Be a Live Mannequin at Abercrombie
I have received quite a few requests for me to try this idea out, so there I went. I offered to be a live mannequin at two different stores.
While I prepared to be rejected, I didn't prepare the reason for rejection. But it only makes sense. A model needs to have the model look, just like a software engineer better knows how to code.
Learning: When rejecting someone, the attitude and reason can make a big difference. The third girl was so nice and personable, and how can anyone be mad at her?
Day 14: Give $5 to Five Random People
I have been asking people to do things for me for my rejection therapy. Now I want to turn the table and give something to others. Following my graduate school professor Dan Ariely's suggestion, I went on the street and offered $5 to five random people. Will they take the easy money or just walk away?
Learning: when you ask people for something, even to offer them money, they might not take it if you don't offer them a good reason. Next time when you make a request, make sure you use the word 'because', no matter how generous your offers are.
By the way, here are Dan's bestselling books:
Rejection Pain is Real
There are people like Jackie in the world, which makes it an amazing place to live and experience. Every day, you might run into your own Jackie, Scott, Robert... However, we can’t expect life to be like a giant sunshine doughnut with rainbow sauce. The fear and pain of rejection is very, very real, especially if it’s on a personal level. That’s why we need rejection therapy. Just to share a personal experience during my 100 days journey. I once wanted to ask a barber to see if I can cut her hair. I figured she has worked on thousands of heads, it would be very fun if some one can turn the table and give her a good experience. She will most likely say no, but that's the whole point of rejection therapy.
During the execution, it started out well, the barber was amused and contemplating what to say, but a customer jumped in because he didn't like the fact that he could also be filmed. His concern was legitimate, but as I explained, he started calling me names and attacking my character. The rejection turned very nasty. (To protect his identity, I won't show this footage)
Now, this type of rejection is different than a simple no. It’s personal. I believe all of you have had similar experiences in life. When you do something well-intentioned, but is interpreted as the opposite, the rejection hurts much deeper. When the rejection is on a personal level instead of action level, the pain could be excruciating.
Many of you have shared your experiences. Some of you were hurt deeply by rejections, whether it’s in romance or business. Please know that I understand your pain. I myself started this journey because I was rejected. That’s why we need rejection therapy. All lives have highs and lows, and all rejections are temporary. If you are rejected today, move on. The next day, a box of Olympic symbol doughnuts or a soccer session in a stranger’s backyard might really put a smile on your face.
Day 13: Take an Unregistered Exam
When I saw how hard my wife prepared for her Project Management exam, I got seriously jealous. After driving her for 4 hours to Dallas to take the exam, I decided to do it too myself, cold.
Respectful, though incredulous, she was a very nice lady.
Learning: 1. OK, this is it. Not only I couldn't hide the camera successfully, she was constantly peeking at it. I am buying some new equipment. Thank you for your suggestions.
2. Looking back, I could have offered some alternatives, such as taking some other exams there that didn't have this much restriction. Or get a printed version and try it out.
Day 12: The Reunion. Jackie Delivers Again
Confucius say, great doughnuts come in twos... no he didn't say that. But it would be such a waste if I only get to meet an amazing person like Jackie once in my life. On Day 12, I ventured to Krispy Kreme to see Jackie again. This time, I wasn't looking for rejection, but to express my gratitude.
Learning: when something incredible is accomplished, many people would fight for credit. Jackie, on the other hand, gives credit to others when she didn't have to. Would this work in the corporate world? I surely hope so. The world would be such a better place if everyone is like Jackie.