Moving Beyond Rejection to Enter Your Personal Power

Author: Linda T., Executive Coach

(Washington, USA)

How many of you go through life thinking about and then answering the question, "What is the worst thing that can happen?" I invite and encourage you to rewrite this disempowering script playing in your head that contemplates an upcoming rejection. The next time you find yourself in a situation when that thing you want most to happen is at stake, what if, for a moment, you flip the internal conversation you are having with yourself to,

"What is the best thing that can happen?"

Why am I sharing this now?

I wanted more than anything to teach a facilitated workshop where I could share with individuals how they could change their environment and find resiliency when faced with adversity and find hope again. When I worked with a life coach who helped me navigate through the darkness and find my spark, I was inspired to step up and into my calling to serve people. But, I didn't see how I could do this without the certifications that people often ask for you to provide.

My coach didn't see this as the barrier that I did. Instead, he invited me to take action and ask for a meeting at a local college to open a door for a discussion. I waited about a year before I thought I was ready. Then one day, I decided that instead of fearing the dreaded no and feeling defeated in answering my call to serve others, I changed my internal script to what if they said yes and I could honor my desire to make an impact?

Not only did I get a meeting, I received much more. I accepted an assignment to write a class proposal, create a course description, and fill out and sign a paid contract to teach!

What is the importance of sharing this? I walked in with the single purpose of sharing my passion and desire to deliver an impactful lunch and learn on the subject of resiliency to improve people's outlook. My ability to be received was less about my credentials and more about communicating with conviction.

I learned that when I chose to focus on rejection or not getting what I asked for, it held me back. The cost for this limited way of thinking is high because it robs you of the ability to create experiences that provide the visibility to live truthfully in your power. When we can courageously move beyond this fear and honor our right to ask for things that can be ours, we live a life we believe we are worthy of receiving.

Rejection Is Only a Key to the Door of Relentlessness

Author: Andrada S., Student (Miami, USA)

The idea that rejection is nothing but destruction is deeply embedded in our being. We take it personally, and we spiral into a self-inflicting journey where instead of finding ways of achieving our dreams we end up being lethargic. Yet, rejection is nothing but a big, fat gift.

My rejection journey started pretty abruptly when I packed my bags and moved to an alienated country – the United Kingdom. After the honeymoon stage (which lasted about a week) where everything around me seemed new and exciting, I got hit in the face by a humongous, red, double-decker bus called rejection. It was brutal!

Culturally and socially, most things were a shock to me, even the famous British “politeness” that seemed to have faded. If you just visit London for a couple of weeks, you would probably love it (I would too). When you are trying to settle down as an immigrant, it is obvious that the British politeness doesn’t wait for you with its arms open. If you have a strong accent, the majority of British people tend to be more judgemental than you would expect and you might be met with disapproval and criticism. (Now, imagine the noise you hear when a contestant on America's Got Talent gets an X.) Beep! Rejected! When socializing and expressing my opinions  in regard to family and female/ male roles, I was often met with objection. Beep! Rejected! The UK is a highly individualistic country and if you come from a collective culture, you might feel rejected at every corner as everyone is fighting for themselves and they are less willing to help you adapt. When applying for jobs I was met with the same type of disapproval. I was rejected by many industries, including the cleaning and the hospitality industries which don't require many academic skills, yet I still couldn’t get employed.

All the values I followed my whole life were scattered and it made me overly conscious about what I can say or not/ do or not. I wasn’t able to portray who I truly was or what I have to offer because I felt that my ideas and attributes weren’t a fit with the culture or anything at this point. I fought the rejection of others with my own rejection when I should have answered back with persistence. 

However, all the walls that I faced, transformed me into a much better person and one of the things that helped me move past all the rejection was educating myself.

After feeling rejected on all fronts, I started analyzing why I was being rejected and how I can use rejection to my benefit. In a way I was blaming the British culture for my failings. Yet, I had to understand that every culture is different and adapting to it is going to take time and effort. Once I shifted my mindset, I started putting in more work in improving my speech/pronunciation, in writing better resumes and in accepting change. Slowly but surely, things got better, I found a job and got accepted into a university.

At the end of the day, rejection is only a key to the door of relentlessness, and relentless is the door to a room filled with success.