Recently, I received a question via email about Rejection Therapy. Since I’ve seen variations of this question before, I’ll share it along with my response. Perhaps my answer may be of help to others.
The sender’s name and specifics have been removed to protect confidentiality.
Q: I purchased Rejection Therapy and I’m excited to start the 30 day challenge. However, I have a problem I’d like to solve: I want to be able to confront my fear of approaching women. I’d like to be able to walk up to a girl, anywhere and at anytime.
Do you have any Rejection Therapy exercises specific to approaching women?
A: Sounds like you want to slay the dragon too soon. Rejection Therapy is a process. Start with a rejection that’s a little out of your comfort zone. If you can’t say hello to three strangers in a grocery store, you should conquer that one first.
Emotions like fear and anger are viral and indiscriminate. They undermine your sense of control and self worth. If you allow these mental states to exist, they tend to spill over into other aspects of your life.
When you go through the process and play Rejection Therapy card by card, picking off rejections one by one, starting small and moving up, you uncover trouble spots and learn to overcome them. I call it Fear Management. You discover ways to manage your fear so you can get that rejection. And you have fun doing it.
Once you get the rejection, the fear shrinks and confidence in yourself grows in all aspects of your life.
Just last week I asked a woman out at the pharmacy I go to. The answer was no (she’s was already seeing someone). I thanked her anyway and walked out the door feeling exhilarated – and holding a bottle of mineral water I forgot to pay for! I had to go back in the pharmacy and make the purchase.
Oh well. So much for making a smooth exit.
So yeah, I was slightly amped on adrenaline and walked out with unpaid product, but before Rejection Therapy that interaction would have been impossible.
So in a very real sense, all the cards are exercises for approaching others – be it women, men, or any variation thereof.