Control Your Reality Like a TV Set. Here’s How To Do It

Photo by Martin Howard

Think of your life as a television set with four channels. Your brain is the remote control you use to switch between these four channels. Of the four channels, there’s a nature channel, an all sports channel, a 24-hour news network, and an arts channel.

You can switch between these stations at any time, and each will give you a radically different perspective of the world.

If you are like most people, you’ll gravitate to one or two channels and stay there. The other channels you’ll click to when the show is important or you’re bored, but for the most part you’ll watch even mediocre TV because it’s comfortable to you.



According to a sports psychology theory designed by Robert M. Nediffer PhD, the analogy I described isn’t far from how our cognitive processes work. It’s called the Theory of Attention and it was developed to help coaches, trainers, and performers gain easier access to optimal internalized conditions like The Zone and Flow State.

The Theory of Attention is a powerful cognitive model that can help you better understand how your mind perceives life and the world around you, and how to change your reality as easy as a TV set.

The core of Nediffer’s theory is that the average person shifts between four separate and distinct states of attention in response to the changing demands of performance. These “attentional styles” shift along two dimensions: from broad to narrow (horizontal) and external and internal (vertical).

Each attentional style has specific strengths and characteristics, as you’ll see below.


Theory of Attention diagram



Broad-external focus is used whenever you need to be aware of your environment, which is why I likened it to the nature channel. The enlightened Siddhattha Gotama advocated this attentional state as a way to detach from oneself and alleviate suffering.

Switching to the broad-external perspective is an effective mental strategy for endurance athletes to disassociate from pain and exhaustion during competition.



Your mind switches to narrow-external to perform an action like reading a book or kicking a ball, which is why it’s analogous  to a sports channel.  World-class athletes have a dominant narrow-external focus.



Broad-internal focus is represented as the news network because it’s where information of all kinds is gathered, analyzed and/or synthesized into strategy and vision. Broad-external is the dominate perspective of business leaders, inventors and visionaries.



The arts channel is narrow-internal focus. In the Theory of Attentional and Personal Style [PDF] Nediffer writes,

“You use narrow internal focus of concentration to systematically rehearse information or to assess and manipulate your own internal state in some systematic way.”

Narrow-internal is also where we invent stories about ourselves. It’s where the ego is. When being introspective or anxious, we are deep in narrow-internal territory. We hardly notice others around us. Some psychologists refer to that behaviour as “high interiority”. Obsessive personalities are dominated by internal focus of concentration.



It’s important to remember you can switch attentional styles with your mind at any time. You decide what story to tell  by the lens you choose to look through. If at any given time your frame of mind is not useful, change the ‘channel’.

It’s your mind and it’s your life. Take control.

In the next article, we’ll go deeper into the subject of attentional styles, and expose the secrets of top athletes and thinkers on how they manage high pressure situations and achieve optimal performance states like the Zone and Flow State.

Rejection Therapy Classic Edition


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No Confidence? Borrow Some

Face of Confidence. Photo by Joel Bedford

I vividly remember the moment I thought of Rejection Therapy. I was holed up in a one bedroom apartment, staring at my glowing computer monitor on a Friday night. I was in a new city, starting a new business and a new life.

I had no friends here, only two cats who watched me tap away on my keyboard for hours (I wondered if they could be trained to do light administrative work, but to this day the little furballs do nothing but lounge about).

But back to the idea of seeking rejection by strangers, in a community where I was trying to establish myself as a professional and not a nutcase.

Going through with this experiment would require bucket loads of confidence, and I had zero.

So, what does a guy do if he needs confidence but has none? He borrows it. That’s what I ended up doing.

Let me explain. At the time, I didn’t know if inducing rejections on a regular basis would battle-harden me or crush my self esteem, so I had no confidence in the process until it had proven itself.

I also didn’t think to ask a psychologist about my experiment, so I couldn’t lean on the advice of a professional.

[ Article continues after the jump.]

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The only one I could turn to was God.

So after inquiring, soul searching, and getting what I felt was the green light, I went ahead with a half tank of borrowed confidence. It wasn’t self-confidence, and it wasn’t confidence in an outcome (because I didn’t know what would happen), it was confidence in God.

You probably have an idea of what happened next. Rejection Therapy opened a world of new possibilities that had been closed by fear. I felt as if I was liberated from prison. My self-confidence soared.

The experiment was such a surprising success, I considered keeping it as a secret advantage (but only for a second, honest).

Obviously, I decided against it, because Rejection Therapy is available for the benefit for everyone.

I like this quote in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind from spiritual teacher Shunryu Suzuki:

we cannot create and own what we create for ourselves since everything was created by God“.

I get this.  Acknowledging God’s hand in my successes has helped me stay humble and somewhat unattached as Rejection Therapy gains global awareness.  People can have confidence in the game, not because of me, but because of Him.

I’ve learned a few other things as well. People are generally kind. You are stronger than you think. And if you don’t have any self-confidence, borrow some – from God, a mentor, from others who have gone before you, or try hypnosis- whatever it takes until you get some of your own.

Get off on Strength

Take the pain. Get stronger. Get off on strength. Get high on strength.

Henry Rollins


How Your Mind Sabotages the Future

Mind Sabotage. Photo by Miryam Zarzar

In all likelihood, your mind is quietly ruining your life and sabotaging your future.

This is not hyperbole. I strongly suggest you read the following post and put what I suggest into practice right away. If it works for you, tell someone else about it.

Your mind is constantly telling stories and creating mental associations. A mental association could be a song on the radio that reminds you of summer vacation. Or maybe your mind associates the texture of dried figs and dates with hairy tarantula legs. Oh wait, that’s me.

A few of your own peculiar mental associations probably come to mind.

Many of these mental pairings (commonly referred to as neuro associations) don’t make a lick of sense, but it doesn’t matter. Once a neuro association ‘clicks’, it sticks. They are reinforced everytime you recall them.

Some neuro associations are relatively harmless (like the figs example) while others are beneficial and empowering.

An example of a good neuro association is how Rejection Therapy makes being rejected an exciting and positive experience.

Rejection Therapy accomplishes this in three ways:

1)  Making rejection into an exciting game where rejection equals success
2)  Because rejection is success in Rejection Therapy, being rejected by someone is considered a favour. Players are also encouraged to think kind thoughts of those who have recently rejected them
3)  Rejection builds confidence because over the 30 Day Challenge, players physically and psychologically adapt to the stresses of rejection

Neuro associations can also alter your life projectory in negative ways and cut off future outcomes.

[ Article continues after the jump.]

Rejection Therapy Classic Edition


Push your comfort zone with CLASSIC EDITION

Buy Rejection Therapy Classic  at The Game Crafters for $15.99



For instance, those who have ever been in a long term toxic relationship won’t soon forget what an emotional sucking chest wound it can be.  The ordeal can make the mere thought of being in another relationship foreboding.

Worse yet, this negative neuro association that links being in a relationship to emotional hell is reinforced again and again by negative self talk.

My advice to you, and this is coming from personal experience: watch the self-talk. Listen to the stories you tell yourself. If you identify yourself as being a victim in these stories, or feel pangs of sorrow or regret from past experiences, you need to stop the negative thinking and analyse what you’re telling yourself. You are likely reinforcing negative neuro associations and sabotaging future decisions.

Instead, retell your stories from a more empowering perspective. Interrupt your bad thinking and create a positive new neuro association.

So lets go back to the long term toxic relationship example and retell the story from an empowering perspective.

Anytime the neuro association “emotional sucking chest wound” arises in the mind, consciously replace it with positive thoughts and feelings that give yourself some options for the future.

Tell yourself something like “I’m stronger and wiser because of that time in my life and eager to be a more empathetic and patient in my next relationship“. Lay it on thick.

Try it. Pay attention to what your mind is saying. Discover how your mind sabotages the future and stop it before it’s too late.

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself. –Lawrence

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