No Confidence? Borrow Some

Face of Confidence. Photo by Joel Bedford

I vividly remember the moment I thought of Rejection Therapy. I was holed up in a one bedroom apartment, staring at my glowing computer monitor on a Friday night. I was in a new city, starting a new business and a new life.

I had no friends here, only two cats who watched me tap away on my keyboard for hours (I wondered if they could be trained to do light administrative work, but to this day the little furballs do nothing but lounge about).

But back to the idea of seeking rejection by strangers, in a community where I was trying to establish myself as a professional and not a nutcase.

Going through with this experiment would require bucket loads of confidence, and I had zero.

So, what does a guy do if he needs confidence but has none? He borrows it. That’s what I ended up doing.

Let me explain. At the time, I didn’t know if inducing rejections on a regular basis would battle-harden me or crush my self esteem, so I had no confidence in the process until it had proven itself.

I also didn’t think to ask a psychologist about my experiment, so I couldn’t lean on the advice of a professional.

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The only one I could turn to was God.

So after inquiring, soul searching, and getting what I felt was the green light, I went ahead with a half tank of borrowed confidence. It wasn’t self-confidence, and it wasn’t confidence in an outcome (because I didn’t know what would happen), it was confidence in God.

You probably have an idea of what happened next. Rejection Therapy opened a world of new possibilities that had been closed by fear. I felt as if I was liberated from prison. My self-confidence soared.

The experiment was such a surprising success, I considered keeping it as a secret advantage (but only for a second, honest).

Obviously, I decided against it, because Rejection Therapy is available for the benefit for everyone.

I like this quote in Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind from spiritual teacher Shunryu Suzuki:

we cannot create and own what we create for ourselves since everything was created by God“.

I get this.  Acknowledging God’s hand in my successes has helped me stay humble and somewhat unattached as Rejection Therapy gains global awareness.  People can have confidence in the game, not because of me, but because of Him.

I’ve learned a few other things as well. People are generally kind. You are stronger than you think. And if you don’t have any self-confidence, borrow some – from God, a mentor, from others who have gone before you, or try hypnosis– whatever it takes until you get some of your own.

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