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Rejection 96 – Interview a Female Bodybuilder for a Reader

Throughout my 100 rejections quite a few requests originated from my readers/viewers. In terms of strangeness, this one today is near the top. And in term of the requester’s persistence, this one beats number two by a mile… or 44 miles.

John, also known as Casino2004 on Youtube, sent me 44 messages asking me to interview a female bodybuilder. For me the most important question is never ‘what’, but ‘why’. He explained that he is attracted to female bodybuilders, but was often blown off by them. Fearing rejection, he asked me to interview one on his behalf.

I often think that every rejection has a number. If you meet that number, the rejection will turn into an acceptance. For this request, the number is 44. Today, I found a local female bodybuilder online named Melanie Daly and sat down with her for an interview. Oh, I didn’t forget about my own crazy request. Wait until the end.


After this episode I learned that not everyone can be Oprah Winfrey and Larry King. I might be there someday but today isn’t that day.

I also learned that people who pay the most attention to their appearance, whether as a model or as a bodybuilder are very sensitive or even insecure about how they look. People like John aren’t the only ones afraid of rejections, the rejectors are also afraid.

Learning: 1. Everyone is afraid of rejection. EVERYONE! To engage in genuine human connection we need to minimize the effect of fear as much as we can. When we aren’t afraid, we help others to be less afraid and we are all better for it.

2. Rejection is often a numbers game. If you want something bad enough and try it over and over again, you might just get it.

  • Ed

    Jia, what do you think about going through some of these sessions with a friend to help build the confidence? Do you think the value of the process would be enhanced or minimized by doing group rejection therapy?

    And on the flip side, I have more of a problem saying rejecting or saying “no” to someone than I do asking for things. Would you shoot me a message if you’re interested in a short 15 minute google hangout discussing possibilities around this idea?


  • ChristianRLong

    Great video Jia. I just discovered your website from bulletproofexec.com I absolutely love the idea of the 100 Days of Rejection. I appreciate you connecting with your blog readers such as John for this video. Having lots of experience in the world of pickup, seduction, and social dynamics between men and women…I would recommend that John not see a bodybuilder girl any different than another kind of girl. The number one fear men have with women is the fear of approaching/rejection. You have proven on your website, time and time again, that the thought of rejection is MUCH worse than actually being rejected. Get out there John and ask out as many bodybuilder girls as you can think of!

    • Jia Jiang

      Christian, thank you for the comment. Yes I agree that the fear is much worse than rejection. FDR said “the only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. It’s very true.

      May I ask where on that blog you have found me?

      • ChristianRLong

        Hey Jia,

        I almost forgot about your email. Sorry man…too many to handle sometimes. HA!

        Here’s the link: http://www.bulletproofexec.com/92-creating-digital-happiness-with-anna-akbari-podcast-2/#comment-1222132227

        The comment was made by SMOKESMD.

        For fun, would you be up for a rejection collaboration? Or even help with a different project that would interest us both?

        Let me know.